Category Archives: LFA

LFA

LFA pt2 – Meanwhile In The Old Days

Uh oh, Julius Caesar walks in at the wrong moment!

“CLEO!!!”

“Dude, chill. You’re married, you can’t really complain if I fancy a little fun while you’re off waving your alliterative quotes at people.”

“Impertinent wench! Guards, seize her!”

“I really wouldn’t advise that…”

“What’s she on about?”
“Silly trout.”
“Nnnnnnuuuuuuurrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”

“Oh my…”
“What’s that Julie? Cat (which is totally sacred in Egypt, BTW) got your tongue?”

“Nnnnnnnnnnnrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?”

“He is a powerful ancestor. Fine, I won’t get a bee in my bonnet about the occasional gladiator.”
“He? Oh but Julius, that’s no ‘he’. That’s Hatshepsut, a pharaoh so powerful that when her nasty successors tried to delete her from the historical record they found there were so many records of her that they couldn’t get them all, and those carving and statues they did despoil left gaps that everyone still associated with her. She had so many great buildings built that later pharaohs tried to steal credit for them. She was also a master of PR. Not bad for a c15th BC lady, huh?”
“Yes yes, very nice dear, now I have to go and sort out some Gauls.”
“Sigh…”

 

End Credits

Cleopatra – Cleopatra VII Philopator
Julius Caesar – Gaius Julius Caesar
Hatshepsut – Hatshepsut, foremost of the noble ladies
Guard #1 – Clive
Guard #2 – Adrian

 

“Don’t feel unappreciated, Cleopatra, I have need of a strong, resourceful, politically minded woman like you for this team I’m putting together. Just do me a favour and don’t leave snakes lying around everywhere, yeah?”

 

LFA

LFA pt 1 – Pussy Riot

“So Pussy Riot, you are on trial in this totally not biased or corrupt in any way court room, charged with ruining civilisation in its entirety by singing a noisy song near an altar and therefore causing all humanity to regress to the Stone Age. How do you plead?”

“We object to this court, we did nothing wrong, we weren’t disrespectful to anyone but those criminals who have stolen power. Besides, if you try and lock us up we’ll just unleash our Tyrannosaurus Regina.”

“How dare you challenge the authority of this 100% legitimate and not a political sham court. And what do you mean you’ll unleash a Tyrannosaurus Rex?”

“We didn’t say Tyrannosaurus Rex, we said Tyrannosaurus Regina. You know, from the Latin for ‘queen’ not ‘king’. She’s our feminist dinosaur ally and she’s not going to take your shit!”

“Yes! Tyrannosaurus Regina will lead us to freedom across the steppe to our anarchist/feminist/freedom loving allies. Did you see the look on the judge’s face?”

“Before or after Tyrannosaurus Regina ate his gavel and wig?”

Credits:

Pussy Riot – Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, Maria Alyokhina, Yekaterina Samutsevich
Judge – some sexist old tosser with his face in a trough laid on by Putin

“Hello there Pussy Riot. I’ve followed your case and I am impressed with your dedication and courage. We could use someone like you in this team I’m putting together…”

LFA

LFA – Prologue

“It is time. For too long I have just been a feminist icon, but now I will do more. I will create… I will forge… there will be BRICKS!”